Darkness or Light
by analovesyaoi4ever
Summary: Naruto is falling into darkness when Sasuke left him. how will he be able to move on when Sasuke did something bad to him, leaving a part of his to him. will Naruto chose the right path and be happy or will he choose the dark one for revenge or he will chose both for revenge and protection. sasunaru, darknaru, mpreg.
1. Prologue

**_Hi, thank you for reading my stories so if you didn't, please go to my profile and check it out. My dear readers please continue to support me in the near future._**

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><p>'Why? Why did he have to leave. Wasn't I enough for him to stay... To stay in Konoha...to stay beside's me. Was it all just a lie? All those sweet words he spoke to me. All the love and emotion that only I saw and witness. His soft touch and warmth he provided for me...only for me.'<p>

"why?.. why why why WHY!?" He chanted all over again. He feel into his knees as uncontrollable tears flow down his eyes.

'Why is the world so cruel? What did I do to deserve all of this. All I ever wanted was to love and to be love back. Was it too much to ask for a single happiness. Someone who I could express my feelings. To make a real smile... To not pretend who someone I wasn't meant to be.'

All of them is a liar. It's what he think to the people in the village. But when he meet him he think that maybe he had a chance to be happy. He was just a little boy around 7 when he meet him even though the boy was cold but when they fight it always made him warm. His name was Sasuke Uchiha and he belong in a respected clan within the Konoha. He was very handsome and many admire him for that, not only he is handsome but also a prodigy and rich.

Yes, they became rivals in everything even small things. He pretend to have a crush on that disgusting pink girl with his happy to luck attitude and fail all his grade because if anyone finds out he was smart many will hate him including the adults. People was always easy to fool and he maintain it, so to make it even more interesting he plays prank on everyone even though the villagers always hurt him he keep it up.

He and Sasuke continued to be rivals until the Uchiha lost his family when his brother massacre all Uchiha blood except him. He wanted to come and comfort the boy but he was scared and wasn't allowed to visit so when the raven came back when he challenge him to distract him form his briefing state. They were always so happy until the day they became a team. At first he was uneasy because if he wasn't on the same team with Sasuke he won't be able to be with the Uchiha and to add he and Sasuke kissed.

Everything was normal but he notice that he always stare at Sasuke and the Uchiha did the same. He started to feel these feelings he didn't know exist. The day of their first C rank was the best. They get to escort a bridge builder named tazuna, turns out to be an A rank mission. While they were doing there mission it was also the time when Sasuke Uchiha saved him and realized what he was feeling. It was love... The one thing he crave for. When he did realize he went wild when Sasuke died and turns out the needle Haku use has an ability to stop the body's function if it wasn't remove.

A week has past since the realization and the mission. He wanted to walk so he was up early and finds himself on the training ground. He sat down at the shadows under the tree to sleep. Something woke him up and finds himself lip lock with the Uchiha staring at his eyes. He was so shocked and was about to pull away even though he wanted it but Sasuke deepen the kiss. The raven licked his bottom lick making him whimper and was about to protest when the tongue plunge into his mouth. He moan as their tounges swirled around each other. They broke apart when their lungs screamed for air staring at each other's eyes with chemistry.

'I have always love you' Sasuke said and that is how they became a couple. It became a secret but he couldn't have ask for more and of course he shared his secret about kyuubi. He though that Sasuke would be like the others and would hate him but to his surprise the Uchiha place a kiss on his lips and softly said that he didn't care because he is not the demon but the Naruto he knew and love.

They were both happy though sometimes Sasuke's Fangirl can be a pain especially the pink girl on their team name Sakura that he had a pretend crush. Also on some nights Sasuke would visit him on his house and hold him on his arms with his voice saying soothing words to make him fall asleep.

Then the Chunin exam came, all was well when that bastard name Orochimaru came. The snake man bit Sasuke on the neck and beat them up. Sasuke was in pain for a few days, when we arrived at the tower he was brought into the hospital and we passed the test because we had all the scroll. He visited him and Sasuke would smile at him. He would return back his smile and hug him.

We once again begin the Chunin exam and fight others,including our team if we don't lose. He was trained, more like played by Ebisu though he found the great Sannin Jiraya to train him. He won his first and second battle and move on to the final with Sasuke. The raven's enemy was Gaara Sabaku and he was afraid that Sasuke would get hurt. Gaara was really a fearsome enemy because he could control sand and got out of control when he saw his own blood. The village was attack by Otokageru. The Sandaime Hokage died battling Orochimaru.

He went out to save his companion because Gaara was threatening the village. He was able to summon the giant frog Jiraya had him made a contract and defeat the one tail demon. He was also able to protect his boyfriend and Sakura. He became friends with gaara and convinced him that doing bad things cannot bring any price.

Days have past and he continued to visit Sasuke his boyfriend in the hospital even thought the Uchiha would smile but then avoid any eye contact with him. He was worried about what was bothering the raven but he just let it go and didn't want to force him. (AN: the fighting in the roof didn't happen)

The next day when he was on his apartment sleeping Sasuke suddenly came waking him up and kiss the lights out of him. And in that night they made love for the first time, he really wished that it would never end but sadly when morning came, he found out that Sasuke was gone. He search the whole village only to found out that he left Konoha. He chase after him with Shikamaru, Chouji, Neji and kiba (I'm not sure if theirs more?) who in turn fought the enemies who was Orochimaru's follower.

He caught up to Sasuke and tried to convince him to go back with him but Sasuke refused and says that he was just a useless person who he played at and didn't understand what it feels to lost everything.

*flash back*

"Sasuke please come back to the village...with me!" Naruto said as he begged the Uchiha.

"Shut up Naruto I won't become strong enough to kill my brother if I stay there. Beside, you are the one holding me back, distracting me to become strong and powerful. I realize this after that intense battle with gaara and I couldn't do anything at all" Sasuke exclaimed venomous could be heard in his voice.

"But that's not true Sasuke you did save us...you save me" the blond said hoping that his words could encourage the Uchiha.

"No! that's a lie, you are the one that did all the work as I helplessly watch as my curse mark reacted. I'm not powerful enough! I want more power to avenge my clan. I want to leave. I don't need anyone and I don't want anything at all. I don't need YOU" Sasuke said anger and jealousy could be heard directly to the blond and that made Naruto tear up.

"Sasuke... I love you..." Naruto said softly holding back the sob and tears trying to burst out.

Suddenly the raven laugh not a happy laugh but a hateful one. He stops and look at Naruto with blank eyes "you don't get it do you. I used you. I played with you like anyone else. You are useless. You don't mean anything for me from the start. You are a demon" the raven sneered.

Naruto gasped hearing those words from Sasuke. Tears flow down his cheek as he cry. He sobbed, the words hurt him like lightning struck him. Demon is what everyone calls him and it's painful hearing that from the person he loved the most. He couldn't believe it. Why did he have to say them.

*End*

That made him break on the inside and wanted to cry and hide somewhere where they can never find him but he have to be strong. They fought and fought until he was plunge in the the heart by the raven's Chidori. He fell to the ground with tears coming out of his eyes. He said to the Uchiha 'I love you' and fell unconscious. By the time he woke up he was carried into the hospital to treat his wounds. It's a miracle he survive the attack but it was all thanks to Kyuubi. He still could hear those hurtful words the raven and the villagers said. ( other parts when they battle and the words the village said to him from the failed mission.)

'You are useless idiot.' Is that what you really think of me? what everyone think of me?

'I only used you.' It hurt to know that you didn't mean you love me.

'A demon like you would not understand.' Those words coming from you felt like there's thousand of blades perching my whole body. It's like what the villagers always say.

'You don't know how painfully to lose everything because you don't have a family.' I do understand because I lost you...I understand because I lost everything from the start.

'You are not worthy to respect.' Why? I'm doing everything I can to earn everyone's acknowledgement even though I know that sometimes I mess everything up.

'Your existence means nothing to me' didn't you say to me that I mean everything to you?

'The life you live has no value to everyone' No! That's not true! I don't don't believe it.

'Demon you don't belong here. Your better be rotting to death and be curse by the gods get out of our village!' Why me, why must I live, why must I breath, why must I fight when I don't know the reason, why must I be lied to, why must I be betray...

He screamed as he recall those words. He want to die, to escape, to run away from all of these. But, here he was again in the valley of the end where he fought his beloved. He escaped in the hospital because they treat him with no care and everyone wished he would have died because it's the demons fault that the precious Uchiha wouldn't return.

He promise that when the time comes he wouldn't hide his true self anymore. He, Uzumaki Naruto will never let anyone fool him again and would become strong only for himself. Hot streams of tears flow down his eyes. He would never let anyone ruin his life again. Curse all of them. He who was seen as a fool, weak and a demon will become someone who has power, powerful than anyone has ever seen. He promise that and he will never break that promise even if he has to kill innocent people because he will get his revenge for those who hurt and crushed him.

He could feel his entire being engulf in darkness, it was saying to him to come and join him. He reach his hand out to the dark sky. He closed his eyes as shadows surround him and sign, satisfied as it was comforting him. Never he will let himself be trick again...ever.

TBC

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><p>Thanks for reading. Hope I can satisfy you with my stories.<p>

And please review.

- Love, ana -


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

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><p>Naruto is walking thought the streets to get home because it was already late at night, getting distracted in training that he didn't realize what time it is until he snap out of his concentration. Once he was on his apartment. He opened the door before closing it not bothering locking it because the villagers always invade his home and stole some stuff so that's why he don't keep his important things in here. He pass thought his living room but also his kitchen with ramen cup laying everywhere. Why bother cleaning it when they destroy everything he have.<p>

He opened his door to his bedroom and flop himself on the bed. He sigh, he was getting tired of living in this hell hole life of his. He wish that something would just take him away so he won't deal with this village anymore.

' kit, you should leave this village. It's not worth your time ' Kurama said. He wants what's best for the boy and it broke his heart seeing him drifting away from them.

" I know Ku but if I do that I will become a missing nin "

He look out his window and saw a full moon. He felt his tears build up his eyes. It's been a month since Sasuke left and still could feel the pain that the boy infected him. He wish to go away to forget this memories that the raven left behind. His tears flow down and disappear through the pillow. He sob trying to let out the pain in his heart but it wouldn't go away. He tire himself to sleep crying again and again.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxSasunaruxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Morning came to Konoha and two individual people where talking in the Hokage office discussing important matters that may bring help for future reference.

" are you sure about this Jiraya? " a blond Hokage name Tsunade said to the other.

Jiraya nod " I'm sure it will be best if he stay away for awhile and experience some peace to accept what had happen " he said but Tsunade was hesitant to agree with it.

The blond sighed, maybe it's for the best. She wanted Naruto to move on and she notice that the blond began to distance himself away from his friends, even her.

" your right Jiraya. I suppose it's time for him to grow up and travel the world like you do but I'm warning you, don't turn him into a pervert like you or my fist will meet your face, got it " Tsunade said threateningly to the man making him gulp and sweat.

Jiraya grinned " okay, okay but I'll train him and we'll return for about three to four years " he suggested making sure that the blond lady would understand even if it will take years for Naruto to return from this trip.

" I know I'll take time but I'm sure going to miss him here " Tsunade said sadly but for the sake of the child, she will allow it.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxSasunaruxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Naruto opened his eyes before sitting up, stretching his body with a yawn. He got up and enter the bathroom to have a shower, getting dress on his jumpsuit before going to meet his team on the bridge.

He was about to make his way when he felt a familiar chakra that made him stop and look at to where he felt the chakra. He blink as he saw his perverted, white haired teacher. What is he doing here anyway?

" yo! Naruto " said the man as he walk towards him waving and grinning happily.

" Jiraya- sensei what are you doing here? I though you were traveling, doing your so called 'research' on your book " he rolled his eyes, just thinking about the old man peeping on hot spring made him feel disgusted. Honestly, he's already on his fifty's but he acts so immature. Jiraya cringe when his student didn't call him by the nickname he gave him.

" ehehe... I was researching until I was summon by Tsunade. It was heaven and it wasn't for her, I would be there without worries " Jiraya said sadly while fake crying. Naruto sweat drop but shrugged it off.

" why did you approach me? what exactly is your purpose, Jiraya-sensei?" He stare suspiciously at the Sannin, while the other compose himself before staring seriously at Naruto. He suddenly grab the blonds shoulder.

" I need to speak to you about something "Jiraya said as Naruto remove the hand for his shoulder and patted some imaginary dirt off.

" you could have told me sooner you know. Well, get on with it " Naruto sigh but was curious about the talk. Jiraya nod before gestured Naruto to follow him.

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><p>Naruto followed Jiraya through the village while ignoring the fact that everyone was glaring hatefully at him. They arrive at the Hokage tower. The blond threw a confused glance at the man while the other continue to walk to his destination. Naruto sigh, he has no choice but to follow the other.<p>

Jiraya and Naruto entered when they finally reach the Hokage's office and saw Tsunade waiting patiently at them.

" Ne, Jiraya-sensei I though you want to talk to me... alone. " he glared at the toad sage.

" I know " Jiraya stated " but the two of us has decided something and want to make sure you agree on it. " the older man nodded to the blond Hokage who nod back signaling each other to tell Naruto the deal.

" Naruto we know how difficult it is for you to move on from these past incident, and we want you to forget them for your own good. " she look at Naruto who had lower his head down. She had seen him as her son and she wanted him to be happy. For him to smile again and lighten their days bright even if he just pass by.

Naruto felt stings at his eyes when she mention it. A little reminder made him tear up like this but he's stronger than that. He shook his head to get all his thoughts together and look at the Hokage strongly once again, asking her silently to continue.

Tsunade saw the look the blond boy gave her, she continued. " the reason you are here is because Jiraya suggested that he would want you to accompany him in his journey and he will be the one who will teach what you need to know. I did hesitate at the idea but I realize it's an opportunity for you to travel the world and learn from it. " she closed her eyes and breath deeply. She opened them and saw Naruto was paying attention onto what's she's saying.

Tsunade put her chin on her hands and lean on it " but the question is?... Are you up for it? " she said reluctantly.

Naruto was stared at the Hokage. She was right when she said those words, to travel and learn at the world he didn't know. It was also an opportunity for him to move on, to change what he really is, and an opportunity to show all of them what he's made of.

' accept it kit. I'll be your chance to leave and forget about all your pain ' the fox encourage Naruto. He knew I'll be hard but they sure can try right?

Tsunade fidget on her seat as the blond boy stand motionless and stared at her blankly. She tense when Naruto blink and stare at the ground. He started talking

" I... I want to...come...and move on.." he said in broken words but Tsunade understand and said what's best.

" then go. Travel and see the world, meet knew people. But if you need any help, I'll be right here okay. " he nod as the Hokage had approve of his decision. He will always be thankful for her support but he don't think that he would be able trust any other people except these two legendary sannin who became his family.

" well then brat, go and pack your things. We'll be leaving tomorrow at midday " Jiraya said. Naruto bowed before turning around and left the office. This time Tsunade cried as she watch her beloved son disappear through the door.

" Jiraya just look at how he had grown and change these past few weeks. It's like he's another person. He didn't even smile at me or called me baa-chan. " Tsunade continue to weep as the man gave her a pat on her shoulder.

" yeah, I know how you feel. I just wish he wouldn't change completely " he stared at the blue sky as he continue to comfort the blond Hokage.

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><p>When Naruto arrived. He hurried and pack the things he need for his journey. He didn't know he was this excited to leave the village. He ate some instant ramen before taking a bath. Once he was done, he got out and dried his hair with a towel and another one tied around his waist. He suddenly stopped and stared at the team seven picture. It was the four of them with Sasuke, himself, Sakura and Kakashi. He turn away because he couldn't bring himself to look at it and would again mourn at the loss of his first love.<p>

He approach the object and flip it down so he won't be able to see the photograph. He flop at his bed not bothering to dress himself on his nightclothes before closing his eyes. He would deal with it tomorrow. So for now, he would get some sleep. It's not like it's the first time he slept in only his towel and he don't even get sick.

He fell asleep curling in a fetal position not caring at the coldness the night brought.

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><p>TBC<p> 


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

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><p>God it was a beautiful day. The people are just going on with their lives, children playing and attending school, everything was normal but except for a one blond hair blue eyed boy who was currently checking his things. His body was in a frantic condition considering he was going away from this cursed village for years and he can't wait to do that now. The blond grabbed his pack and almost run out of his apartment but stopped when he saw his attire on his mirror.<p>

He was still in his orange jumpsuit and looking at it made him disgusted of himself for wearing such a hideous clothing. Naruto stepped closer at the wall mirror and carefully touched his neck. He channeled some of his chakra on that place then a seal appeared. Naruto smiled lightly as he thought that he would be able to unseal it and be free from hiding any longer.

' not yet, not today ' the blond though. He remove his hand and walk towards his closet. Naruto rummage through his clothes and pull out some black shirt with chains hanging from the right shoulder down the left end of the shirt, he also pull out a dark blue baggy pants that has rip lines for design with a black pair of sandal. He bought them in a mission secretly. He step out of his jumpsuit and wore the black clothes. He look at himself satisfied at the result but not before fixing his hair by putting some gel and combed it back leaving some strands hanging on his forehead.

Kyuubi whistle inside his head ' wow kit you look handsome and ravishing ' said the fox who was smirking seeing the change of style on the boy. He nod at the complement before getting out on his apartment.

When he was walking down the street, people stare at him like he was a foreign. Some girls look at him with lustful eyes not noticing his whisker mark on his cheeks indicating that he is the same Kyuubi container. Some of the people even dare to talk to the blond but Naruto ignore them and proceed to walk to his destination.

He wanted to go on the places he love most here and visit them and he also wanted to say goodbye to the people who treated him like a normal person here in the village. He first visited the Ichiraku ramen shop where an old man and his daughter Ayame run the shop. They where the first people who treated him with kindness and love when he just a little boy.

He look at the ramen stand where every single day he would come and eat to fill his hungry stomach. The owners of the grocery shop wouldn't let him buy any other than ramen cup so he always come here and those two people will gladly treat him with food and talk to him sincerely and they don't call him names except his real name.

He approach the stand and plop down the chair where he would usually sit when eating here " one bowl of miso ramen please " he said as the owner nod at him.

" ah.. You have good taste young man. This flavor is what our favorite costumer always eat " the man said proudly not recognizing Naruto. This made the blond smile, even if the man don't recognize him he will always be grateful to him and his daughter.

" here you go lad " the ramen was place in front of him and nod in thanks to old man Teichu.

He finish the ramen before standing up and paid for the food. He was glad to eat the ramen made with love just for him and it made him confident that someone really care for him.

The blond went up to the Hokage mountain to look at the view of the sun.

" beautiful, right kit? "

" hmmm " he hummed agreeing.

If you were wondering why he didn't visit Iruka is because Naruto don't trust him anymore. The man might have taken care of him but he left Naruto in misery when he most needed comfort and he most likely don't trust the rookie 9 and team 10. He fisted his hand as his hate for the village grew and his blue eyes turn dull with hate for the villagers. He huff as he look at the people who are busy and so relax with their lives while Naruto was in pain and hurt with no one to go to. He turn away and disappear into thin air.

It was almost midday and Naruto appear inside his apartment using a teleportation justu so he could grab his thing and proceed to make his way at the village's gate and people was still looking at him as they don't recognize him. He arrive at the gate where Jiraya was waiting for him with his back facing him.

" Jiraya-sensei "he said and the white heard man yelp in surprise at the arrival, and almost jump 10 feet off the ground when he ( the first one ) recognize the blond.

" N-Naruto! Is that you? Wow look at you, you've become good looking like me " Jiraya said in awe as he admire the appearance of the blond who was neatly dress in black, but at the same time, his heart shatter when he saw the changes began to grow more and more everyday.

" Did you pack your things? Did you check if you have everything you need? Tell me if you need something and we can go get it. " Jiraya continued to rant. Naruto just nod in every question not caring about what the other say. He look at the forest path through the gigantic gates that leads to another experience that he would soon discover. It seems so... He didn't even know how to describe it, but he knows that he wants to run out of the village and never return here. Why would he when he doesn't even know the reason to stay.

He still continued to nod at Jiraya waiting until he finish " is you house lock? Did you secure your windows? How about your bills? Did you ask your landlord watch over your house until you come back? How about your valued things? " " enough " Naruto said cutting Jiraya's words off. It piss him to no end that the toad sage continue to rant things. It give him a headache. The stayed standing there in an awkward silence.

" w-we'll let get going " Jiraya said breaking the heavy atmosphere. He walk ahead but keep looking back if the boy is following him. Naruto follow Jiraya with his gaze before looking at the gigantic gate then down the line between the Konoha village and the outer part of village. It made him nervous because if he step out of this line he will experience freedom and happiness. Naruto slowly take steps forward before stopping at the at the side of the border. This was it, he is gonna do it. He lift his foot and step out of the village. It hit him, the forest, animals, sky and even the wind is calling unto him. The blond open his eyes. he didn't even know when they did close but he knows that his body is acting on their own.

Naruto's lips slowly form a smile before a laughter came out. He took a deep breath and inhale the fresh air. God it fell so good, It's not that Naruto never set a foot out of the village, it's just that it was the first time he felt so free since it was his own decision and will to go out of the village that made him feel like this. He feel his body move as his feet run to the nearest hill which was straight ahead and run past Jiraya who is shock when he hear the blond laugh, laughter still coming out as he freely move. He made it to the hill and stop on top of it. It was small but was about 15 meters high. Naruto look at the sun that was shining down to him and it was welcoming him to this world. He look around before he ran again until Jiraya lost sight of him but he was close enough for the toad sage to feel the blond chakra.

He explore the forest and stop before gasping at the scene in front of him. There was a valley of flowers with different colors. He laugh happily before laying down in the center of the bed of roses. He look at the flowers beside him. The blond pick up one with the color of yellow and raise it up the sky. He didn't know the name but it sure is lovely enough to pair with the color of sky.

Naruto wonder, if he became this flower...would he be free too? A flower who isn't worried about it's surrounding and is waiting until it's time in the world is done. A flower who wouldn't feel this aching emotion on his chest and wouldn't feel any betrayal cause by the one he love.

The blond was wiling to throw away his sanity. He would throw away his life. He would throw away his emotions, but most of all, he will throw away his love to be this flower but fate is cruel enough to put him in this kind of life style. Naruto brought the flower to his chest and look at the sky feeling calmness spread through his body before closing his eyes and sleep.

Jiraya was really worried when he lost sight of the boy and it's not easy to track a person who mask their chakra especially Naruto. He do feel a faint one but he couldn't tell if it was the blond's. They are far away from the village with Naruto running around with a speed Jiraya didn't know he had. He went to the direction where he felt the chakra. Thank god it was Naruto's and he found the boy sleeping in a bed of flowers peaceful to a surprisingly beautiful valley of flowers where the plants are like comforting Naruto with petal and leave are wrapping him like a blanket.

Jiraya smile. It's great that it made Naruto peaceful. He look like an angel, but sadly he have to destroy the moment. He walk towards the blond and stare down at him.

" oy brat, stop sleeping. We have to go now " he gently nudge him with his feet before Naruto flutter his eyes open and yawn. The blond sit up staring at him before looking at the horizon. Jiraya followed his gaze. He had to admit, the view was good, especially when the valley of flowers is so wide, they can't even see where it end.

" come on " he receive a nod at the blond before walking away and disappear through the forest. Naruto stood up, looking at the scenery on last time before following his teacher.

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><p>TBC<p>

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><p>please review<p> 


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